


All Of These Lies

by hot_damn_louis



Series: 12 Days Of Christmas 2014 [6]
Category: One Direction
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-15
Updated: 2014-12-15
Packaged: 2018-03-01 15:06:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,728
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2777636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hot_damn_louis/pseuds/hot_damn_louis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Idea sent in by anonymous:<br/>"<b>Louis has been afraid to live all his life until he gets a terminal misdiagnosis from a doctor after being checked out for headaches. With only a few months left to live he decides to spend his lifesavings on the vacation of his dreams. Of course he takes along his roommate Harry who he's in love with, but too afraid to tell him. Losing his virginity to Harry is #1 on his bucket list. Based off of The Last Holiday</b>"</p>
            </blockquote>





	All Of These Lies

**Author's Note:**

> A huge thanks to Kezia, who whipped my ass into shape with this one. She was the one who made this entire fic possible, and I literally have no idea what I would do without her. 
> 
> I strayed from the prompt a bit, but then again I can't ever stick to one idea. So this is loosely based off of The Last Holiday, focusing more on the concept than the actual story line. This is also the first time I've ever written smut, so please don't hate me if it sounds awkward or clunky. I've just never done it before. 
> 
> My tumblr is [here](http://hot-damn-louis.tumblr.com/). 
> 
> Title is from Tenerife Sea.

  Louis squinted his eyes as another strong headache came on, making his brain feel like a soda bottle that had just been shaken, ready to explode. He squeezed the armrest next to him, his knuckles going white as the pain shot through him momentarily before leaving, an achy feeling left behind. He released his death grip on the arm rest and turned to smile at Harry, pain still settled in his brain. Harry had a frown on his face, his bottom lip turned into a pout.

“Don’t worry, it’s just a headache. Light sensitive,” Louis said, his words sounding more like a question. Harry still remained frowning, reaching out to touch Louis’ temple. Louis couldn’t help but have his heart beat at the touch of Harry’s hand, his breath caught in his throat.

“I can’t help but worry when that is the third you’ve had this week, Louis. What if something is really wrong with your brain? I mean, you should go to a doctor,” Harry said, brushing the hair off of Louis’ temple before retracting his hand.

“Harry, I don’t think it’s necessary. It’s just headaches,” Louis said, turning his attention to the movie screen, concentrating on the movie quiz that was displayed, the words blurring together.  

“If you go to the doctor they might give you some pills that will dull the pain,” Harry said quietly, reaching down to his bag to pull out a small container of pills. He handed Louis the container of Advil, watching him until Louis had swallowed two of the pills.

“What would I do without you, Harry?” Louis asked, smiling at him. When Harry still frowned, Louis sighed, rolling his eyes. “Alright, I’ll call the doctor tomorrow. Now can we just enjoy the movie?” Louis asked, touching Harry’s forearm. Harry just shrugged and turned his attention towards the screen. Louis could tell he was much happier knowing that Louis was going to a doctor.

***

“Brain scan? Why?” Louis asked at the doctor the next week, tucking his hands underneath his butt as he kicked his feet nervously.

“Just a precaution. I want to make sure that there isn’t something serious that is causing your headaches. Sometimes people just get headaches and they go away eventually, usually unknown cause but I want to make sure that it isn’t something serious,” Dr.Sayer said, her hand coming to rest on Louis’ knee gently. “This is totally a precautionary scan,” she added, looking sincere at Louis.

“Let’s just get it over with,” Louis grumbled, his heart beating loudly in his throat.

***

Louis stopped what he was doing when he got the call the next week, the name of his doctor on his screen. Louis gulped audibly, Harry giving him a look from the other side of their kitchen. “I’m gonna take this. It’s Dr.Sayer,” Louis mumbled, shuffling into the hallway before answering the phone. He held the phone to his ear, pressing it tight as he waited for Dr.Sayer to speak.

“Louis, I’d like you to come in so I can speak with you extensively about your scan.”

***

“I’m sorry to have to tell you this. It’s a brain tumor. Our diagnosis says it’s inoperable and terminal. We will be sending it off to be checked by a few other doctors but, terminal is what we have concluded. You have about three months left.”

***

“Are you alright, Lou? You’ve been in there since I got home. And I normally wouldn’t intrude, but you usually come pester me while I make dinner and despite all of my complaints, I miss you there,” Harry said, his voice passing through Louis’ closed door and into his room, the sound of his head resting on the door loud and immediate. “Just, let me know if you’re alright. I can give you space if you need it,” Harry added. Moments later there was footsteps away from his door followed by the thump of Harry slouching into the couch.

Louis couldn’t help but hate himself for pushing Harry away, but he didn’t know what else to do. What do you do when your doctor tells you that you have a brain tumor? Louis didn’t want to tell anyone, but at the same time his chest was practically bursting with the urge to tell someone, anyone. Sometimes Louis just wished that maybe his life wasn’t so complicated and that he wasn’t in love with his roommate.

I mean, being in love with Harry isn’t that big of a deal. They’re both gay, they are into each other (at least they were) and there is nothing to stop them. Except Louis, who ‘wasn’t ready for commitment’.

What Louis didn’t want to say was the fact that he was almost 22 and still a virgin.

Now, Louis didn’t mean for it to happen. When he was in school he wasn’t openly gay. After he moved to London it seemed as if everyone wanted hookups and sloppy blow jobs in club bathrooms while Louis wanted a boyfriend to date and (hopefully) lose his virginity to.

Louis had hoped that Harry might be just that but when they started moving more towards a friendship than a relationship, Louis just accepted it. He accepted the fact that Harry just didn’t like him and moved on.

And it wasn’t like Louis was a _complete_ virgin. He had given a fair amount of blow jobs in his day and had even shagged a girl back in Doncaster where he grew up. He was a virgin with boys, having never dared to do anything past a blow job with a stranger. Louis didn’t want his virginity to be taken by some stranger he met at a club. He wanted something a little more special.

***

Louis packed a bag with some of his clothes in it, throwing in only what was necessary, hastily tossing in things until it looked like it was enough. As he packed, he realized that Harry’s clothes had somehow managed to sneak in with his own. Louis never realized how much they shared until that moment, with half of the clothes in his bag belonging to Harry.

“Louis, I heard some loud noises,” Harry said, knocking on the door frame, poking his head into the room.

“I’m packing,” Louis said without explanation, refusing to look at Harry. Considering that he had been avoiding contact with everybody (including Harry) for the past week he felt awkward even just speaking aloud. He turned around and grabbed his wallet off of his dresser, tucking it into the pocket of his joggers.

“Um, why?” Harry asked after a moment of silence, daring to standing just inside the doorway. Louis could see him cross his arms out of the corner of his eye, his eyebrows pulled down in concern.

Louis sucked in a breath before turning to Harry. “I’m going to visit with my mum and my sisters and the babies for a while,” Louis said, sighing. “I just haven’t felt well lately, Harry. Sorry for ignoring you. I kind of just needed to shut everything out for a while,” Louis added. “Do you remember last spring? With that whole depression thing,” Louis said, wringing his hands together. “It feels like that,” Louis said, biting his lip.

What he said wasn’t necessarily a lie, but Louis was with holding a large portion of the truth. He did feel depressed like he did last spring, and he did need to shut everything out but he was being vague with the reason. Louis wanted as little people to know about his condition as possible. He wasn’t even sure when he wanted to tell his mother about it.

“You know I’m always here,” Harry said, stepping forward towards Louis tentatively, as if Louis would run off. Louis let Harry engulf him into a hug, Harry’s strong arms wrapping around his shoulders and holding Louis tight to his chest.

“I know, Harry,” Louis said, relaxing into a hug. An idea sprung into his mind, and he smiled against Harry’s chest. “Do you maybe wanna road trip with me?” Louis asked, pulling back from Harry. “I mean, we could take my car. Go do fun things. Spend the rest of the summer before turn starts again just being guys and having fun.”

“Really?” Harry asked, his eyebrows raising. “As long as we go to Adventure Island,” Harry added, his mouth turning into a grin that started consuming his face.

“Of course! I’ve got some money saved up. Let’s just blow it all on a fun adventure,” Louis said, his eyes wide with excitement.

Harry clasped his hands together, practically bouncing with excitement. “I’ll be packed and ready in ten,” he said before leaving the room, stumbling as he walked out. Louis shook his head with a laugh, rolling his eyes.

***

“Are you sure you want to spend all of this money?” Harry asked, looking down at the convenience store counter as Louis piled food onto it.

“Are you kidding me? It’s a road trip. We have to do it proper. We can go down to Brighton first to visit with Gemma, then to Adventure Island, and then up to my mum’s. That way we can stop at anything along the way and have plenty of time,” Louis said, bumping his shoulder into Harry’s.

“I’m glad we’re doing this, Lou,” Harry said, reaching up to pinch Louis’ side.

***

After driving out of London through terrible traffic and a long discussion on what is proper driving music (Louis’ playlist won out because it wasn’t just acoustic songs), they were on the road, coasting down the highway properly, Louis tapping his fingers to the music and Harry reading about Adventure Park on his phone.

“What’s the time?” Louis asked, slowing as they hit a patch of thicker traffic. He glanced over at Harry quickly as he drove, content to see Harry in the passenger seat next to him.

“Nearly 3pm,” Harry said, looking up into the sea of cars in front of them. “But, it is summer. And Friday. I wouldn’t expect anything less from traffic,” Harry added, reaching to his feet to pull out a bag of trail mix, setting it on the console between them.

“I just hope the traffic doesn’t get any worse,” Louis said, glancing in the rearview mirror behind him. “We’ve only gone 20 miles and its been nearly 45 minutes,” Louis grumbled, the traffic slowing to a sticky crawl. A headache started behind his eye, pulsing slightly as he inched forward in traffic.

“Eat something, Lou. I know you’re having a headache. I can see in your face,” Harry said, opening the bag of trail mix for Louis to reach it easier.

“Thanks, love,” Louis said, reaching for the food.

***

After nearly two hours, they reached Handcross where Harry insisted they stop and get a picture in front of the welcome sign, Harry’s hand with the cross tattoo held up in front of him. Louis couldn’t help but smile at that pun.

***

In Brighton they got a hotel room, just getting one large queen bed to share instead of bothering with asking for a room with two beds. Louis immediately flopped onto the bed face first, his headache fully blooming as the sun lowered in the sky. His backpack was abandoned next to the bed, tossed lazily to the side before Louis closed his eyes to the world.

“Does driving give you a headache?” Harry asked, closing the door to their room, his arms held down with their snack bag and his own packed bag.

“Mhm,” Louis mumbled into the sheets, trying not to move. “Because everything gets so blurry. Hard for me to focus,” Louis added, squeezing his eyes shut as another wave of pain pierced the right side of his brain.  

“I’ll drive if you want me to,” Harry offered, flopping next to Louis on the bed, yawning heavily. “Plus, I don’t think we should see Gemma until tomorrow. If you don’t mind, I want to take a nap.”

“Nap is good,” Louis murmured, his face pressed into the bedding.

***

Louis woke up with an arm slung around his waist and his back pressed against Harry’s front, Harry’s hand splayed across his stomach. Louis held as still as possible, not wanting to disturb Harry. Louis was also relishing in the feeling of Harry wrapped around him. Louis had the urge to go to the bathroom though, and he couldn’t particularly hold it much longer.

Slipping out of Harry’s arms, Louis stood and stretched, his body aching from laying awkwardly on the bed. After using the bathroom, Louis came back to the bed to see Harry awake, half sitting up as he leaned on his elbow. “Hey, Lou,” he said sleepily.

“Hey,” Louis said, sitting down next to Harry on the bed. “What time is it?” Louis asked, pressing one hand to his rumbling stomach.

Harry pulled his phone from his pocket, the light of the phone bright in the dark room. “Just half past eight,” Harry murmured, checking a few texts on his phone.

“Let’s grab some take away, yeah?” Louis asked, reaching out to poke Harry’s arm. “It’s not too late for take away. Call up your favorite place. That one we got last time we were here,” Louis said, laying back, closing his eyes. When he didn’t feel the pressure of the bed change or Harry speak, he opened his eyes, catching Harry staring at him.

“I’m really glad you’re feeling better,” Harry said quietly, looking right at Louis. Louis couldn’t help but hold his breath as Harry reached out and brushed hair off of his forehead. “Want pad thai?” Harry asked, pulling away to stand up, pulling his phone out in front of him.

“Of course, Harold,” Louis said fondly, folding his hands onto his stomach.

***

Louis woke up cuddling the next morning when the sun was shining bright into the room. This time his arms were wrapped around Harry’s waist, his nose buried into Harry’s hair. Louis’s ankle was trapped between Harry’s calves and Louis couldn’t help but feel completely comfortable.

This time, it wasn’t just innocent sleeping that led to cuddling. Harry was leaning on Louis’ chest while they were eating their food, Harry murmuring about the thing on the tv while throwing his leg between Louis’ legs. It was a position that was often in their flat while they watched movies. Typically, though, Harry would get up and go to sleep in the other room. This time, with sharing a bed and all, they stayed slotted together.

“We gotta get up,” Louis murmured, rubbing his eyes as he slipped out from behind Harry. “Time to see your sister, remember?” Louis asked, climbing off of the bed. Harry murmured in discontent, reaching back behind him for Louis.

“Just wanna stay here,” Harry mumbled, turning flat on his back.

“Get up, you bum,” Louis said, leaning over to pinch Harry’s side. Harry squirmed and sat up, rubbing his eyes. Louis couldn’t help but think he looked like a sleeping kitten. It almost made Louis want to tell him about the tumor.

***

Louis couldn’t help but fond over Harry while they were out with his sister. Whether it was browsing in shops, Harry stopping to hold up various items to Louis and Louis giggling or Harry and Louis sitting next to each other while having lunch, knocking their knees together. Louis swore he could see Gemma rolling her eyes.

***

“I wish that it could be just us sometimes,” Louis said when they got back to the hotel, reaching out to pinch the skin on Harry’s forearm, smiling. “When we are out and about sometimes I just get massive headaches,” Louis added, flopping onto the bed, his head throbbing.

“I always wish it could be just us,” Harry murmured back. Louis couldn’t help but blush, pressing his face into the duvet.

***

“Adventure Island, here we come!” Harry said, tapping his hands against the steering wheel. Louis sighed in the passenger seat, resting his head against the headrest and letting his eyes slide shut. Louis hated the feeling of blurriness as they drove, everything far away looking slightly out of focus. It pained Louis to have to try and focus on it.

“Yeah, I know,” Louis murmured, reaching up to rub his temples gently.

“Louis, I know you said you went to the doctor and all, but you’re still having headaches, you don’t have any new medicine, and you didn’t tell me what the doctor said when you went back. It makes me a bit concerned when you aren’t telling me everything,” Harry said, his voice a bit nervous sounding.

“I’ll explain more later, alright? Now, I’m just going to take a few Advil and hope that this goes away by the time that we arrive at Adventure Island, alright?” Louis said quietly, opening his eyes to look for his bottle of pills.

***

“Fuck, Harry. I don’t think I can go on that one again,” Louis groaned, shutting his eyes as he gripped Harry’s shoulder, letting Harry lead him away from the ride. When Harry stopped, Louis opened his eyes, the sun bright and glaring;

“Are you done for today? I mean, we’ve gone on everything,” Harry said, his hand reaching to grip Louis’ shoulders.

“I’m fine, Harry. Lets choose like one or two more before we go check into a hotel,” Louis said, looking up at Harry. “I’ll be alright. I think it’s going away,” Louis lied, smiling weakly. Harry frowned, pulling Louis against his chest into a tight hug, his head lowered so his mouth was by Louis’ ear.

“I don’t want you to suffer with a headache for me, Lou. If you want to leave, we can,” Harry murmured, pinning Louis to his chest.

“I’ll be fine,” Louis mumbled into Harry’s chest, sighing. “Let’s go on a few more, alright?” Louis added, pulling away. Harry nodded, reaching up to brush Louis’ hair back off of his forehead.

“I can’t help but worry,” Harry said, staring down at Louis’ mouth. Louis could feel heat rising in his cheeks as Harry pulled away.

***

“Great idea, stopping for a pizza,” Louis said as they walked into their hotel room, the pizza balanced in Louis’ hands. He sat on the bed, setting the pizza next to him. Harry sat next to him on the bed, reaching down to take off his boots. Louis kicked his shoes off quickly, the shoes flying across the room.

“Glad we did,” Harry said, tossing his boots to the side, reaching for his belt. Louis gulped, his eyes tracking Harry’s hands. “If you don’t mind, I’m just going to take off my trousers,” Harry added, standing so he could shimmy out of his jeans, his boxer briefs clinging to his leg. Louis couldn’t help but think dirty thoughts with Harry stripping in front of his eyes.

“Sure,” Louis said, focusing on the pizza and trying not to think of Harry. He opened the box, breathing deeply to try and calm his heart.

Harry kicked his trousers away and reached for the pizza, picking up a slice and biting into it, the cheese pulling away from the hot pizza. Louis grabbed his own slice, closing the box of pizza and setting it on the chair next to the bed. Harry sat on the bed across from Louis, leaning on one wrist as he ate, staring out the window. As Harry took a bite, marinara sauce blobbed out onto the corner of his mouth as he chewed.

“Lemme get that,” Louis said, reaching forward and wiping the sauce away from the corner of his mouth. As he pulled away, he saw Harry staring at him, his eyes filled with something different. Louis placed his sauce covered finger into his mouth, licking away the sauce and pulling his thumb from his mouth with a pop. Harry adjusted his hips, his eyes locked on Louis lips.

 “Lou,” Harry murmured, leaning forward and kissing Louis, his mouth fitting onto Louis’ sloppily as he pressed towards Louis. Louis barely had the sense to hold his half eaten pizza away from his body as he kissed Harry, his mouth pressing into Harry’s insistently, their lips sliding together fluidly.

Louis pulled away, one hand pushing Harry’s chest away from him gently. “Harry, you don’t need to do this,” Louis said, putting his pizza on the nightstand, wiping his hand on his joggers.

“Need to do what?” Harry said, leaning forward and kissing Louis again, reaching out to set his pizza on the bedside table, his other hand reaching up to grab Louis’ waist.

Louis pulled away again. “Kiss me. Act like you like me. I mean, I don’t want you to do this just because you want to cheer me up,” Louis said, keeping his hands out in front of him to keep Harry away. “I really like you and I don’t want my heart broken if all you want is a hook up,” Louis said, biting his lip.

“How obvious to I have to make myself?” Harry asked, raising his eyebrows. “I’ve liked you since we met. I know that you pulled back, but I figured that was because you wanted nothing more than friends,” Harry added, his fingers digging into Louis’ hip gently.

“Harry, I pulled away because… because I’m a virgin,” Louis muttered, refusing to look at Harry’s face. “I’ve never had sex with a guy,” Louis added, a little louder. He glanced up at Harry’s face after a moment, worried about what Harry would say.

“Louis, you don’t have to pull away because of that,” Harry murmured, leaning forward to kiss Louis gently. Louis kissed him back, his hand tangling into his hair at his nape, pulling Harry towards him. Harry moved so he was hovering over Louis, his hips pressing into Louis’ gently. Harry’s hands pushed Louis’ shirt up, his hands pressing into the bare skin of Louis’ torso.

Pulling away, Harry took his shirt off, tossing it into a corner of the room, his tattoos alive in the dimming light. Louis sat up partially and pulled his own shirt off, tossing it away from the bed. Harry grinned and pressed back down, peppering Louis’ neck with kisses and sucking lightly into the skin near his collarbones. Louis shoved one of his hands into Harry’s hair, pulling gently to guide Harry’s mouth back to his own. Harry kissed him thoroughly, his tongue licking into Louis’ mouth. Louis moaned, his dick hardening as he pressed close to Harry, his hands sliding down to Harry’s waistband, running his fingers over the tattoos there.

Harry paused, pushing away so he was straddling Louis, his hands grabbing Louis’ wrists and pushing his hands away from his body. “Louis, I don’t want to do something you’ll regret,” Harry said, his voice loud in the quiet room.

“I’ve sucked my fair share of dicks, Harry. I just haven’t actually had real sex. There is definitely a difference between completely virgin and me,” Louis said, staring up at Harry. “Plus, it’s kinda hot the way you’re holding me down,” Louis added, quirking an eyebrow as if to test Harry. Before Louis knew it, Harry was back kissing him, pressing him hard into the mattress, Harry’s own dick pressing against Louis.

Harry let go of Louis’ wrists, instead his hands pulling at Louis’ waistband of his joggers, pulling them down gently, sitting up to allow Louis to shove them off, the fabric tangling in Louis’ legs. “I’ll be right back,” Harry murmured, leaving the bed.

“I’m getting my joggers off!” Louis said, kicking them away so he was just sitting there in his boxers, his eyes watching Harry as he bent over to grab something from his bag.

“I’m coming back,” Harry said, two small items in his hand. It was just dark enough in the room for Louis not to see what it was, instead distracted by Harry climbing back onto the bed in his underwear, crawling towards Louis. He kissed Louis as he balanced on all fours, Harry returning to his position hovering over Louis gently.

Louis hands grabbed Harry’s hips, his fingers playing with the waistband of his pants, his fingers trailing just underneath the fabric. Harry kissed down Louis’ neck, kissing his way as he slid down to settle between Louis’ thighs, his teeth grazing the skin below Louis’ belly button. Harry’s teeth clamped onto the waistband of Louis’ pants, pulling the fabric downward. Louis lifted his hips slightly, his dick springing free as Harry pulled the fabric down. Harry let go and allowed Louis to kick away his boxers, leaning up to kiss Louis’ again, Louis’ cock between them.

“Wanna fuck you,” Louis murmured as he worked on pulling Harry’s pants downward, his breath coming hitched. Harry froze, pulling away from Louis quickly.

“Are you sure?” Harry whispered, as if talking aloud would ruin the moment.

“More sure than I’ve ever been,” Louis whispered back, his hand gripping Harry’s waist.

Harry grinned, kissing Louis before pulling away, standing up off the bed and sliding his pants off, kicking them away. He grabbed the condom and lube he put on the bedside table earlier, sitting back in bed. “I don’t think you’ve prepped before. So, I think I’ll just do it myself, if that is alright?” Harry asked, looking at Louis.

“Whatever you want,” Louis said, reaching down to lazily stroke his cock, Harry staring for a moment before getting back to himself.

“Right,” Harry murmured, pushing himself onto his knees before uncapping the bottle of lube, dribbling some onto his finger. Louis watched as he reached and slid his lubed up finger into himself, just the first digit but with each breath he slid further in until he was up to his second knuckle, Harry’s eye contact not breaking from Louis. He pulled his finger out and dribbled a bit more lube on, starting in on two fingers. Once he had to fingers in pretty good, he nodded to the condom, indicating that Louis should take it.

“How do you want me?” Louis asked, ripping open the foil package. He rolled the condom onto his cock, staring up at Harry with a smirk on his face.

“Just like that,” Harry murmured, dripping a bit of lube onto Louis’ cock before stroking up and down to spread the lube out. Louis moaned in content, his hands grabbing the sheets. Harry positioned himself over Louis, guiding Louis’ cock towards his hole, sinking down on his cock slowly, his hips wiggling slightly as he sunk all the way down onto Louis’ cock. Louis reached up to grab his hips, holding him in place.

Slowly, Harry moved, his hips circling lightly as he pulled up part way, sinking back down slowly. Louis let out a shudder of pleasure, his fingers digging into Harry’s hips, leaving imprints of his fingertips. Harry started moving a bit faster, riding Louis. After a few moments, Louis started to thrust up slightly, enjoying the friction. Harry changed the angle and suddenly Harry was moaning, grinding down harder on Louis. While moving his hips, Harry leaned down and kissed Louis quickly, circling his hips in just the right way.

“Oh, fuck. Harry, I’m gonna,” Louis muttered, digging his heels into the bed. Louis reached up and started stroking Harry’s cock, his hand in time with Harry grinding down on him, Harry’s cock leaking precum onto Louis’ stomach. It was just a few more moments of Louis bucking up into Harry and Harry grinding down before Louis paused for a half of a second, cumming, his hand stuttering in mid stroke before picking back up again, getting Harry off as Harry rode out Louis’ orgasm. With a final flick of the wrist, Harry came onto Louis’ stomach, moaning loudly.

Harry pulled off of Louis, flopping down next to him. Louis quickly tied off the condom, tossing it towards where he remembered a bin to be. Louis sighed contently as he listened to both of their labored breathing, Harry’s skin sweaty and clinging to him where his leg was draped over Louis’ legs.

“Hope that was good,” Harry muttered, turning on his side, his eyes scanning over Louis’ sticky chest.

“Of course it was good, Harry. The best I’ve ever had,” Louis murmured back, watching as Harry got up and walked to the bathroom, his tattoos just smudges in the dim lighting of the room. He came back with a damp towel, leaning over Louis and cleaning Louis up, the towel dragging across Louis’ skin softly.

“Harry, I think I love you,” Louis whispered, looking up at Harry.

“I think I love you, too,” Harry whispered back.

***

Louis couldn’t help but feel guilty the next day as they woke up clinging to each other, Harry smiling at him like Louis was the sun revolving around his world. Louis couldn’t help but feel like he was cheating Harry by lying to him about his condition. But, then again, it was pretty difficult to feel guilty while receiving a blow job in the shower.

But as they sat on the floor playing cards while eating their breakfast, Louis felt the need to talk to Harry a bit more seriously, maybe in hopes that telling him now and sorting out their relationship would mean that Harry wouldn’t be as mad about Louis lying.

“Hey, Harry? I wanted to talk more seriously right now,” Louis said, setting his cards down in front of him and looking at Harry. Harry furrowed his brow but also set his cards down, folding his hands on his lap.

“Is this about last night? And this morning? Because I honestly do like you, Louis. I want to be with you. I thought I made that obvious,” Harry said, reaching out to touch Louis’ knee.

“Well, partly about that. So, are we dating now? Like boyfriends? Or..” Louis said, trailing off.

Harry scooted a bit closer to Louis so their knees were touching. “Boyfriends. I want to treat you right, Louis,” Harry said, smiling. “I waited too long to act on my feelings before and I just want to be with you,” Harry added, his thumb rubbing across Louis’ knee.

“Good. I’m glad we agree on that. But, there is something else,” Louis said, looking down at his hands. He bit his lip, trying to breathe evenly.

“It’s okay, Lou. Just tell me what you want to tell me,” Harry said, his eyes still hopeful but his mouth turned down slightly.

“I have a brain tumor,” Louis said in a rush, looking up at Harry, the weight lifted off of his shoulders.

Harry jerked back, his eyebrows pulling into a frown. “You’ve got to be kidding, right? I mean, a brain tumor? That’s what the doctor said?” Harry asked, his hands dangling uselessly.

“She said inoperable. I have three months. Well, closer to two now,” Louis said, his voice even as he tried to stay calm. He twisted his fingers together painfully, Harry’s face shifting from slightly angry to heartbroken, his shoulders slumping.

“I can’t believe this,” Harry said, reaching up to wipe a tear from his eye. Immediately Louis reached forward and wrapped his arms around Harry’s waist, lining up their bodies as Harry cried silently into Louis’ shoulder.

“Don’t worry about me, Harry. I just want to be happy, you know? And you’ve made me happy,” Louis said, a tear slipping from his eye and rolling down his cheek. Harry pulled away quickly, holding Louis at arms length.

“Did you go to more than one doctor?” Harry asked, frowning.

“No, I trust Dr.Sayer,” Louis said, his hand on Harry’s knee. “Why?”

Harry smiled hopefully. “Lou, they could be wrong. You could be just fine. You just have to go see another doctor and hope that they find a different result. I mean, what if it was an abnormality? What if you’re just fine? I mean, tension headaches happen all the time and trust me, Louis. I googled everything about headaches in an attempt to help you,” Harry babbled, reaching out to grab Louis’ hands.

“Really? You think so?” Louis asked, biting his lip.

“I have to, Louis. I just got you. I don’t want to lose my best friend,” Harry said, pulling Louis’ hand up to kiss his knuckles.

***

They drove back to London that day, Louis making an appointment with a specialist who conveniently had an open appointment slot the following week, giving Louis and Harry five days to do whatever they wanted.

***

“After looking over your CT scans, I am a bit speechless,” Dr. Thomas said, rubbing his temple. “Because when you said that you were diagnosed with a brain tumor, I was pleasantly surprised that there was no evidence of one on your scan,” he added.

Louis gripped Harry’s hand, sighing with relief. “So, there is no tumor?” Louis asked, glancing at Harry. “I’m not dying?”

“Nope. From what I assume, you’re just having tension headaches. When was the last time you had one?” Dr. Thomas asked, glancing between Harry and Louis.

“Wasn’t Adventure Island your last headache?” Harry asked, his thumb rubbing across the back of Louis’ hand. “That was before we got together,” Harry murmured quietly, looking at Louis.

“A week? Maybe a bit longer,” Louis said to the doctor. “It was right after we went to Adventure Island but right before me and Harry started officially dating,” Louis added for context.

“Well, if they continue, try and narrow it down to a single stressor that is causing your headaches. But, I think that the stressor is gone now,” the doctor said, smiling.

***

“I can’t believe that after thinking I was dying I find out that I’m not dying and I’m perfectly healthy,” Louis said once they were out of the hospital, Louis’ hand clutching Harry’s tightly. “I’m not dying, Harry,” Louis added, stopping to kiss Harry, his mouth insistent and his heart racing.

“I say we celebrate,” Harry said once Louis pulled away, pulling Louis back towards the direction of their car, their hands swinging together between them.

“With what?” Louis asked, only getting a grin from Harry in response as Harry pulled him towards the car more eagerly. Louis knew immediately what they were doing the moment they got back to their flat, and if this was Harry’s version of celebrating, he might have to do something worth celebrating more often.       

 


End file.
